Monday, July 03, 2006

@ 10:19 PM

this is another of those days when anything can made me upset....

so i see...relationship is just a convenient thing...its just like normal friends who hold hand, kiss n have tad thing together..not very special wad..now i noe...y am i so stupid..i always thought relationship are so special....right now i just want stab my heart again n again.......y am i always kicking a fuss out of nothing?...i dunno....all the pple i love i care about n who also loved me before will suddenly don like me anymore suddenly leave me.....i feel so alone ....like i'm the only person i noe....
i am hating myself....y are pple around me drifting away from me...am i really so detestable? i want to be myself but is the true me so hateful?...i don want to sink back to the old me...so timid n not daring to express myself....
u can say i'm a attention seeker or a wannabe...iam one....
should i try again to change myself to a more likeable person
i'm so tired...y could pple effortlessly made friends and i had to work so hard towards it....

there are friends around me now that had been really great....juz hope tad my detestable,hateful character won't turn them away
i always see the bad things cuz i don want to be disapointed
but i guess went u keep seeing bad things u say a lot of rubbish


after crying and typing messily i feel much better
let me have another hit at trying to be a better person.....



i will try...

Monday, July 03, 2006

@ 10:19 PM

this is another of those days when anything can made me upset....

so i see...relationship is just a convenient thing...its just like normal friends who hold hand, kiss n have tad thing together..not very special wad..now i noe...y am i so stupid..i always thought relationship are so special....right now i just want stab my heart again n again.......y am i always kicking a fuss out of nothing?...i dunno....all the pple i love i care about n who also loved me before will suddenly don like me anymore suddenly leave me.....i feel so alone ....like i'm the only person i noe....
i am hating myself....y are pple around me drifting away from me...am i really so detestable? i want to be myself but is the true me so hateful?...i don want to sink back to the old me...so timid n not daring to express myself....
u can say i'm a attention seeker or a wannabe...iam one....
should i try again to change myself to a more likeable person
i'm so tired...y could pple effortlessly made friends and i had to work so hard towards it....

there are friends around me now that had been really great....juz hope tad my detestable,hateful character won't turn them away
i always see the bad things cuz i don want to be disapointed
but i guess went u keep seeing bad things u say a lot of rubbish


after crying and typing messily i feel much better
let me have another hit at trying to be a better person.....



i will try...